Monday, September 15, 2008

Keeping it Real

Just because I'm all about being real, I wanted to share some thoughts. Publically. You know, so I can be exposed to possible ridicule and torment. Or not.
Anyway, I'm thinking about not homeschooling anymore. I still think it's what God wanted me to do, but I'm not so sure anymore. I read this great article that kind of spoke the exact words I've been thinking in my head. Except we don't have the money for a private school. And also, since we moved, we're in a different school district. One I'm not too comfortable with. I would have stayed on the other side of town, in the school district I grew up in, if I'd know we were going to do public school. Oh, and most of my friends homeschool. Oh yeah, also, I can't bear the thought of not being with my kids all day. But on the other hand, I can. Also, I can't just throw them in now. I have to wait until the beginning of next year, which in the school district I'm in, that's middle school for my oldest. Throw her into public school for middle school? Maybe I'll homeschool the youngers and put her in private school. Or maybe a rich benefactor wants to help carry the finacial load--any takers? We'll name a grandkid after you someday! :)
So that's one revelation. The other one is that I think I'm getting Alzheimer's because my brain isn't functioning well at all anymore. I lost my train of thought mid-sentence constantly; I forget what day of the week it is; I cannot drive safely anymore; and I'm constantly tired. I'm not kidding, I'm getting this checked out. Can you believe it all started happening when I QUIT using anti-persperant? I thought using only natural deodorant would help stave off Alzheimer's, not cause it. The irony!
Final revelation is that I think I'm going back into counseling. I've recently been remembering some things from my childhood that are upsetting, and I believe I'm in need of some good head (and heart) therapy again. All this also kind of ties into a problem I'm dealing with of not being able to forgive and let go of some past hurts, which has been making me not want to go to my great church. I need to read this book called, "So you don't want to go to church anymore". Five people have suggested it to me, so I guess God's hitting me over the head, eh?
Okay, I'm not thinking straight but that's all I got for Keepin' It Real Monday. That's right--maybe I'll do this every Monday. Or maybe not.

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