Thursday, September 25, 2008


Rarely, very rarely, does a book change my life. Rarely do I read 2544 pages in a matter of 5 days (BTW, yes-my housework was neglected, as was schoolwork, my vanity and lots of sleep--all neglected). Rarely do I become consumed with the characters of a story. While I didn't completely agree or love everything that happened, I found that I learned something about family, loyalty, self sacrifice, and persisting in the pursuit honorable living despite your circumstances. So it was written for teenagers? I don't care--it was a great series and I can't wait to wait a few years and read it again. I also can't wait to see how badly my personal images of the characters and story are slaughtered in the upcoming movie!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Not blogging

I haven't been blogging or doing much of anything lately. I've been sick for over three weeks and I think it's time to see a doctor. I also haven't come to much of a conclusion on the schooling thing, except we signed up for our co-op that we were taking a break from for a session. That made the kids feel better. Also, we've decided to have Madeleine test for a magnet/alternative middle school option for next year that is accelerated and used by a lot of homeschoolers. Other than that, not sure what I'm doing...rather, what God wants me to do.
Okay, since I'm trying to keep it real, I'll come clean and admit that other than being sick, I haven't been doing much of anything because I'm obsessed with the Twilight series of books. I read the first one, Twilight, on Saturday night and finished it at 4am Sunday. I then got the second one Sunday night around 10pm and finished it around 3am Monday. Teddy wouldn't let me get the next two, because they're hardback and more expensive. So I spent a few hours yesterday on the author's website, reading a rough draft of the yet to be written fully 5th book, which is really the whole first book but from Edward's POV, not Bella's. It was 264 pages I read online in PDF form. All day, while we were in the Gorge, I kept thinking about the story. So tonight, I sighed and said I wished I had the next book. Next thing I know, Teddy is taking me to Barnes and Noble to buy it! So needless to say, I'm reading and I will be going to see this dumb teenage angst vampire/Romeo and Juliet movie on November 21st because I am hooked!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Something to add

I just came across this article, after having a conversation with my oldest daughter about going to school next year. She wants to, because she's behind a bit due to taking most of last year off, and because she doesn't like the schedule we've been keeping. The "Mommy sleeps in too late again" schedule. Then I come across this article.
I think a lot of the reason I want to quit is because I think we've got too many gaps and because I can't get around to everything I need to teach. I also think I'm getting a bit depressed again, so regular life is hard to do, let alone schooling three kids. The pressure of doing it right is overwhelming me. But in my heart, I still feel called by God to homeschool. I know a lot of this could be solved by me changing rather than our situation changing. I also think I'm bored, because I bore easily.
What am I to do? I feel like I'm failing and I don't like that I feel I'm disappointing my kids. I also don't like thinking about certain people in our lives who have just been waiting for us to quit, telling us that all along they thought the kids wanted to be in school and they're just glad we've finally come around. AAARRRRGGGGHHH!!! I don't like this feeling or these thoughts.

Keeping it Real

Just because I'm all about being real, I wanted to share some thoughts. Publically. You know, so I can be exposed to possible ridicule and torment. Or not.
Anyway, I'm thinking about not homeschooling anymore. I still think it's what God wanted me to do, but I'm not so sure anymore. I read this great article that kind of spoke the exact words I've been thinking in my head. Except we don't have the money for a private school. And also, since we moved, we're in a different school district. One I'm not too comfortable with. I would have stayed on the other side of town, in the school district I grew up in, if I'd know we were going to do public school. Oh, and most of my friends homeschool. Oh yeah, also, I can't bear the thought of not being with my kids all day. But on the other hand, I can. Also, I can't just throw them in now. I have to wait until the beginning of next year, which in the school district I'm in, that's middle school for my oldest. Throw her into public school for middle school? Maybe I'll homeschool the youngers and put her in private school. Or maybe a rich benefactor wants to help carry the finacial load--any takers? We'll name a grandkid after you someday! :)
So that's one revelation. The other one is that I think I'm getting Alzheimer's because my brain isn't functioning well at all anymore. I lost my train of thought mid-sentence constantly; I forget what day of the week it is; I cannot drive safely anymore; and I'm constantly tired. I'm not kidding, I'm getting this checked out. Can you believe it all started happening when I QUIT using anti-persperant? I thought using only natural deodorant would help stave off Alzheimer's, not cause it. The irony!
Final revelation is that I think I'm going back into counseling. I've recently been remembering some things from my childhood that are upsetting, and I believe I'm in need of some good head (and heart) therapy again. All this also kind of ties into a problem I'm dealing with of not being able to forgive and let go of some past hurts, which has been making me not want to go to my great church. I need to read this book called, "So you don't want to go to church anymore". Five people have suggested it to me, so I guess God's hitting me over the head, eh?
Okay, I'm not thinking straight but that's all I got for Keepin' It Real Monday. That's right--maybe I'll do this every Monday. Or maybe not.

Friday, September 12, 2008

My baby girl is growing up

Lately, we've been into spur of the moment living. So, spur of the moment, I gave in and had a talk with Soph about getting her ears pierced. Normally, I'm the naysayer on that issue. Well, she was gung ho, once she realized that she got ice cream afterwards.

So Wednesday night, we met Aunt Heidi at the mall and went to Claire's Boutique. Soph was a bit nervous, but she didn't freak out. When they actually pierced them, she started to cry and jumped a lot. I started to cry and felt a little sick--I was holding her hands and standing right in front of her. I held her and told her it was okay to cry--she didn't have to hold it in. But she was so brave! Later, she told me she was holding her breath so she didn't cry in front of strangers.

They hurt her a lot that night and she was very clingy with me. But they look beautiful and she really was so brave about it. I'm having a hard time--piercing ears has always been a wierd issue for me and being that it was my baby, it's upset me a bit. But she's doing well and it was completely her choice, so I'll be okay with it eventually!

More Back to School Pictures

I've never posted a ton of pictures, but I had to post these in order, in their entirety, so it can be understood what kind of silliness we deal with around here! :)

We started school...finally!

So Sophia couldn't wait to start Kindergarten. She talked and talked about it for weeks leading up to Memorial Day. She knew we were starting the next day. However, I did not realize that she thought she was GOING to a building. When I explained to her that we're doing it here at home, I expected a meltdown. What I got was arms around my neck and her exclaiming, "You mean I get to stay home with you and Ben and Mimi?" She said she was excited to go to school, but not as much as doing school at home!

So, Monday night, I'm relatively prepared to start school. Except I'm feeling awful. Tuesday, I arranged a play date for the kids, went to the dr. with Teddy and proceeded to feel worse. By Wednesday, I was flat on my back sick. I slept and stayed in bed for 4 days. Madeleine prepared lunches and got me water; Ben did some fun craft stuff with Sophia; the girls swept and dusted. It was awful. It's two weeks later, and while I'm not laying in bed, I still can't do much without getting completely fatigued!

At any rate, we did start school this week Monday. The first day was the best school day ever. But we have had a productive week and the only struggle I have is that I can't give Sophia enough work to do! She loves it.

Here they are the first week of school (and we did get Ben's hair buzzed off the next day):

My 4th Grader

My 2nd Grader

My Kindergartener