So I've been thinking a lot lately about our house situation. I've had a perspective change a little and the past week I had a lot of time to wallow and think. This is because I've had a sinus infection since Friday night and was in bed most of the day Saturday, Sunday and Monday. The only thing that got me out of bed Monday was a phone call from my mom-in-law, telling me that my 3 week post-partum sis-in-law was on her way to the hospital. That began a 3 day journey for me, including 2 nights at the hospital playing baby nanny while my sis-in-law had her gallbladder taken out! So, I've had lots of time to think on life and death (since I was feeling like death!); to laugh and worry; and to see a lot of other hurting people.

So here's my thoughts from a new perspective. Please share with me if you think I'm crazy or if you have better suggestions or if you like Cookie Crisp, because lately I'm addicted.

Lots of prayer has revealed to me some things. First of all, our first home was quit deeded to us and then we refinanced. We purchased it for a sinfully low price and it was all guided along for us with lots of help and not a lot of knowledge on our part. Prior to that, we'd rented the house from my parents. When things went wrong in that house, we called my parents (even when we owned it). Changing and selling that house, and then moving across town from where I'd lived almost my entire life, was an act of cutting the apron strings for me. In a lot of ways, the past year living in this house we have now has felt like my college years, when I stretch my wings and learn how to fly on my own (at the young age of 34)!

So here we sit in this house, losing it; losing the sacrifice my mom made for us; losing the 401k money we put into it; losing the tax breaks...and I am okay. When we look at our house now, we still see it as something done for us by another person. If we get another house again, it'll be something done for us by God. So as I've looked at this journey we've been on, I see good coming out of it.

Our current plan is to continue trying for the modification and looking into refinancing, but we also are going to put it on the market and try for a short sale. I have nothing to hide here...we bought the home for $242k (and it was supposedly worth $248k). We owe $230k and one estimate we've gotten on it's current value is $214k! So we're upside down....and that took us by surprise.

Anyway, all this is to say that while I am immensely stressed by the ins and outs of the situation, I am even more at peace with the possibility of losing our home because I see some purpose in the whole situation.