tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1091281056764646460.post2458935242779678382..comments2023-03-17T02:18:53.315-07:00Comments on I'm Just Sayin'...: Lessons on ForgivenessStacie http://www.blogger.com/profile/15060268656964760241noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1091281056764646460.post-22932747078067084802010-11-01T16:36:10.759-07:002010-11-01T16:36:10.759-07:00I wandered over here from Darcy's blog, and I&...I wandered over here from Darcy's blog, and I'm not so sure my experience/thoughts will prove very helpful to you, but for what it's worth:<br /><br />I like to imagine myself wrapped up in God's great love, just enjoying being loved on. AS I share my heart with Him, I know He really cares. I know He understands and He loves me. I ask Him to heal the ugly places, the wounded infected places that hurt me inside. I know He loves me, and even though healing takes time, I trust that the process is begun and I praise Him.<br /><br />Then I ask Him to please take care of the person who hurt me. I know anything Jesus does will be perfectly just and merciful at the same time. He can make people understand their need to change better than anyone can. And I know He'll do it in a way that won't just muck up the situation more, like I always seem to do.<br /><br />Some times the Spirit will prompt me to go to my brother, and tell him his fault. But I think having prayed about it like I have before is helpful to me in finding the courage and the humility to do it without rancor. Most of the time this works out. Sometimes I still get reviled all over for bringing it up, but I have a strange peace anyway that comes from knowing I did all I could, if that makes sense.<br /><br />Other times I just leave it with Jesus. Not every relationship can or should be restored. Some people won't get any better in this life, no matter how much you want them to grow. If I don't get a strong prompt from God to confront, I won't confront. I'll just leave it with Him.<br /><br />Praying like this brings me a lot of peace. <br /><br />It also helps to remind myself that Christ died for that sin and that sinner as well as for me, and that though the person may be a total stinker, I can't hold Jesus anymore accountable than He has already volunteered to be held. I mean, my very best friend admits it was sin, volunteered to take responsibility for it, suffered for it, and reaches out to me in love and asks me to forgive the stinker. How can I do less?<br /><br />It helps also not to confuse forgiveness with justification or reconciliation. Forgiving someone does not make what they did okay, or justified. It remains a wrong done. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you can reconcile. Sometimes it does but not every time. You can't be in relationship with people who don't treat you with love and kindness. That still won't work.<br /><br />Forgiveness for me means leaving it up to Jesus to work out in a just and merciful manner. I won't stew about it anymore, and if I start to go there again, I will go back to prayer about it.<br /><br />Well, there's one older woman's ideas about how to make it all work. I hope any of it is helpful in some small way.shadowspringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15172112981244682382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1091281056764646460.post-59395663549154784552010-10-27T07:02:56.302-07:002010-10-27T07:02:56.302-07:00Stacie, what you are going through, sounds SO much...Stacie, what you are going through, sounds SO much like what my husband went through for years. Just about two years ago, he decided to let go and give it all to God and forgive the people in the church (leadership even) that had hurt him so deeply and turned him off to church, Christians and even people in general. He wrote emails to everyone he had been hurt by (this was like a 4 month process) and said basically, "I have been holding some bitter feelings towards you for something that happened in the past and I want you to know that I have forgiven you and am praying for you now". Almost everyone emailed back and apologized for whatever they had done (most had no clue and simply said, I am so sorry if I did something wrong, I never meant to hurt you). <br /><br />It has been SO amazing to see the turn around in his life. We are also at a new church (Camas Assembly) where John is just loved on and supported and it's amazing. <br /><br />So ya... that is just what we have gone through personally.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17619586559069601434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1091281056764646460.post-81345941104757191852010-10-26T23:25:42.199-07:002010-10-26T23:25:42.199-07:00Not sure if your saying you never told the people ...Not sure if your saying you never told the people how they hurt you but if that's the case of course you should. I had a close family friend who at one point told me she had a list of things I'd done to her over the years that hurt her. She didn't want to tell me what they were. There is nothing worse than not being able to defend yourself or apologize if you need to.wakefieldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17862076487874521740noreply@blogger.com